Jesse Florig

Last Friday was one of those Friday nights were everything just fell into place and good times were had all night long. It blows my mind how often this occurs in DC. I lucked out on meeting everyone that I’ve met and I’m so grateful to be able to have my younger brother here.

Lacey experiences what many ladies only dream of ;)

The night started out at Dakota’s with a 50-pack of hot wings and a couple beers to wash it down. After some crucial pre-gaming we split up into Bike Gang and Cab Gang to meet up at Goldleaf where Exactly laid down the jam. Check out the article here (NSFW)

After the kegs dried up everyone headed to the first street party house. It was kind of impressive how the entire party just instantly teleported 15 blocks. There was an immediate shortage of cups and people started lining up at the keg with bowls in hand. It had a kind of trashy yet classy goblet-esque feel to it. At that point I was over drinking for the night and just watched in amusement.

One of the most satisfying parts of the night is when Ryan and I decided to jet. We literally rode around the corner and saw my place. Living downtown is a decision I’m constantly being rewarded for.

So I missed the PWFL Power BBQ and Obama Fund Raiser for reasons I have long forgotten. I did, however, make it over to Selam for Midnight Mass. I was there a bit early and the crowd was just building up. Before soon the dance floor was crowded and ‘wedging’ was necessary to order a drink.

Ryan, Steve, Richie and I eventually step outside to catch some cool fresh air. Some Eretrian dude starts talking to Richie about having a small head. We all thought it was pretty amusing so I start to poke fun at Richie too. After we settle from the silliness the Eretrian dude puts his hand out like a handshake. I return the gesture and things get akward. Instead of shaking my hand he tries to snap off my thumb! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!? I snatch my hand back am am like, “What the fuck!?” In a thick accent he attempts to explain whats going on. Apparently I made him feel bad for making fun of Richie and he didn’t realize we were all friends. Thankfully thats where me and my friends depart the action.

No more than an hour later a fight breaks out inside and people are being drug to the entrance and thrown out. At this point I had no idea what was going on and kind of went about my business. You know, workin’ that dance floor. Cause thats what I do.

Eventually I do make it back outside and I’m greeted with a very volumptuous lady beating a mans face with her heel. She’s screaming and her dress is riding up on her belly exposing the front and backside of her downstairs designated party areas. Despite being cold outside, her ass looked like a sweltering trash bag filled with cottage cheese. I swear a jigger of bile shot up from my stomach into my mouth. Cops arrived, music stopped, and lights turned on. More face beatings and even a mid-street choke out occured. The mid-street choke out actually took place on the hood of a car in traffic. PRETTY RIDONK.

Suprisingly we all made it out of there alive, but I was too beat to head to the Loft Party. An amusing night for sure. The man needs no introduction by now, but the amazing pics were taken by none other than Dakota. Check out the BYT article here.

Update: Oh yeah, there was a skate sesh and pregame party at Marisa’s!

Noveau Riche on Saturday was another night filed under amazing. The 690% humidity inside DC9 would have been unbearable to mere mortals, but we all managed to hold it down and have a blast. Albeit a very very soggy blast. Check out the photos and writeup by Dakota Fine (pronounced ‘fee-nay’) here.

So the next couple of weeks are going to be pretty wild. This week I have some tickets to a couple shows. Wednesday at 930 Club we have Hot Chip.

Friday is where things get dangerously ridonk-a-donk. Effing Girl Talk is going to be at 930 Club! I have waited and waited for this and its almost here. I did something kind of awesome. As soon as I saw the tickets for sale I snagged four of them for $15 a pop. Obviously they sold out instantly and now they’re on Craigs List going for over $50 per ticket. Some friends of mine already claimed my extras, but if they don’t pay up would it be a dick move to unleash them to the internet frenzy? Ugh, what is a boy to do? I must to put my internal dilemma on hold so you can enjoy this kick ass fan-made video.

If I manage to survive those shows I’m planning to make my way down to Jacksonville, FL/Valdosta, GA ASAP to see some friends & fam and pick up my brosef, Ryan. Soon there will be two FloBros in DC so tell your lady friends Hurrican Naughty is about to make landfall.